Peeking Between the Pages

...escape into the pages of a good book

Guest Post with Rachel Renee Russell, Author of Dork Diaries & Giveaway!

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Let’s all welcome Rachel Renee Russell, author of Dork Diaries to Peeking Between the Pages today. Dork Diaries is sure to be a big hit with middle school girls! I read it and even now in my forties could still remember the feelings of being back in the eighth grade–take a peek at my review here.

Today Rachel is going to share with us a diary entry from the book, one I found particularly amusing. I could totally see a young tween trying to pull something like this off. So, sit back and be prepared for a giggle or two…

Friday, September 20th


I was up getting ready for school when I noticed I STILL had that rash from my phony cell phone! I almost choked on my, Minty Fresh, Tartar Control, Extra Brightening, Mouthwash Strength, Cavity Fighting, gel toothpaste.

Now that my crush, Brandon, had finally noticed I was alive, there was NO WAY I was going to school with a rash that made my ear look like it belonged to a severely sunburned Keebler elf. You know, the ones who bake cookies inside a tree trunk infested with ants, termites, centipedes, and beetles. I always wondered what those brown crunchy things were in their cookies. Ewwww!

Anyway, I knew my mom was NOT going to let me stay home from school unless I was spiking a temperature of at least 289 degrees. Which, BTW, is the same temp she uses to bake her Thanksgiving turkey.

My mom’s life motto is, “Hey! Why let a little case of gangrene or leprosy get in the way of achieving a good education?!”

After trying every trick in the book, I finally figured out how to convince my mom I was too ill to go to school. I had to PRETEND to throw-up all over myself.

Now, how SICK is THAT?!

I came up with this idea last spring after Brianna had the stomach flu. Mom took time off from work and let my little sister stay home from school an entire week.

On top of that, she totally pampered Brianna by buying her all of her favorite Disney movies on DVD and a new computer game to keep her occupied while she was in bed.

I think all of that vomiting must have really gotten to mom. About 3 weeks later, I had a bad case of strep throat and was hoping to at least get a couple of new CD’s out of it. But, all mom bought me was a cruddy box of Popsicles! And, to make matters worse, they were the really gross, low-calorie kind with no sugar. They tasted like frozen pickle juice on a stick. I was like, delish!
Thanks a million, Mom!

Since I was pretty sure mom was not going to consider my rash serious enough to let me stay home from school, I decided to run downstairs and make up a quick batch of phony vomit.

Lucky for me, I was the first one out of bed which meant I had the kitchen completely to myself for about 15 minutes. I changed into my heart PJs and rushed downstairs.

My secret recipe was easy to make and it looked and smelled like the real thing:

“STAY-HOME-FROM-SCHOOL”
PHONY VOMIT

1 – cup of cooked oatmeal
½ – cup of sour cream(or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk)
2 – chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness)
1 – uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture)
1 – can split pea soup (for putrid green color)
¼ – cup of raisins(to increase gross-osity)

Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes. Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature. Makes 4 to 5 cups.

WARNING: This stuff is SO gross that it might really make you sick to your stomach and cause you to really throw up. In which case, you will really need to stay home from school.

I poured up about 2 cups, ran back upstairs to my room, and dumped it down the front of my heart PJs. Then, I yelled down the hall in a really whiney voice:

“MOM! Please come quick! I don’t feel so good. My stomach is really queasy and I think I’m going to…
blecchuuarggh!”

Of course, it worked like a charm!! Mom was totally convinced and said that not only did I have an upset stomach, but there was a mild rash on my ear.

She said that since I was not running a temperature, I’d probably feel better after a day of bed rest. I told her that suddenly I was feeling a lot better already . Then, she cleaned up my “mess,” ran me a bubble bath and tucked me back into bed with a kiss.

I actually slept until the Tyra Banks show came on at noon. I just LOVE that girl!

However, when I went into the kitchen to grab a bite for lunch, I suddenly realized I had totally FORGOTTEN to pour the leftovers of my “vomit” down the garbage disposal.

So, when I saw that my mom had left a note for me on the counter right next to the now empty pot, I just KNEW she was on to me and I was in really BIG trouble. I totally panicked and my stomach started feeling queasy, but this time FOR REAL! Her note said:

Dear Nikki:
Thank you for making breakfast for us even though you were not feeling well this morning. Your oatmeal was delicious and we all had seconds. You MUST cook this for us again soon. We are so very lucky to have such a KIND and CONSIDERATE daughter! Thanks again.

Love,

MOM

P.S. Hope you’re feeling better!

I spent the entire afternoon just lounging around, watching television and raiding the ‘fridge. I even ordered a pizza!

Plus, I had THREE things to be VERY happy about:

1.The Tyra Banks Show ROCKED!

2.My rash completely cleared up

3.My parents think I’m a 14-year-old Rachel Ray

__________

GIVEAWAY

Rachel has very kindly offered up one of Nikki’s purses with a copy of the book as a giveaway. Isn’t that awesome! There are two different patterns that you could win-one is a colorful graffiti design and the other a hot pink heart print. Just a note: this is only a marketing idea that Rachel had, if you buy the book later on in store it does not come with the purse. Here’s a picture of what mine looked like when it arrived and the goodies inside…

What do you have to do to enter to win one of these great purses and the book…

  • For 1 entry leave me a comment with a way to contact you please.
  • For 2 entries share with me something crazy you did as a kid to get out of school or even something one of your own kids has tried to pull off.
  • For 3 entries blog or tweet the giveaway to spread the word.

This giveaway is open to US and Canadian residents only (no PO boxes). The purse and book will be coming directly from Rachel. I will draw for the one lucky winner on Monday, June 15, 2009.

Thanks so much for joining us today at Peeking Between the Pages Rachel. It was great fun! I wish you the best of luck in the future and I’m looking forward to Dork Diaries 2.

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Comments

  2. fun post and very cool giveaway!
    lol about the fake vomit recipe.
    I was actually very good in grade school, I was always on the honor roll, so my mom would offer me a day or two a year where I could stay home if I chose to.
    http://thebookworm07.blogspot.com/

  8. I’d love a chance to be in this giveaway thanks!
    unforgetable_dreamer_always(at)hotmail.com

  10. My daughter would lose her mind to win this (I wouldn’t mind either!). Now let’s see, I did some skipping school now and again, but honestly I didn’t have to work too hard at it. I guess my mom was pretty gullible. I just had to wake up and say my stomach hurt, or do that trick with the thermometer (put it in hot water first), and I was home free. I think mom was just looking for a reason to play hookie too! rnawrot at cfl dot rr dot com

  12. Please include me in your giveaway!

    And a trick that I tried to pull off was the classic “I’m sick” stunt. Unfortunately, my parents are too smart for me…

    behapppppppy(at)hotmail(dot)com

  14. Just posted this on Win A Book. Sounds hilarious! I loved the bit about the note from Mom. Yikes!!

  15. This looks like a cute book. I was pretty good in school. My mom was wise and every year allowed us each a couple of sanity days, where we could stay home. I’ve done the same thing with my boys.

  16. Oh, this is cute!

    I was good in school, mostly. In high school, I sometimes took off the last period of the day to go to the ice cream place with a friend. Didn’t make up an elaborate excuse or anything.

    allison DOT campbell AT gmail DOT com

  20. I don’t recall doing any crazy things to get out of school. I do recall, however, wanting a cast really badly. I tried falling down a flight of stairs to break my leg. I ended up with rugburn and no cast.

    melacan at hotmail dot com

  21. 1. You know how to find me (hee hee).

    2. I used to put the tip of the thermometer on a light bulb to heat it up to the right temperature (between 101 and 102.7 always did the trick!).

    3. I’m going to tweet this contest. I never do that! But, I like this one so much that I’m going to!

    Sher

  24. At first I was going to say don’t enter me because I already ordered this book for my library but please do ahead because I would do a giveaway at school to help promote the book. Loved your post Dar!!

  25. What a fun idea – I love this giveaway!
    Please enter me!
    Thank you for the giveaway 🙂
    hurdler4eva(at)gmail(dot)com

  26. Once I took this weird blue lipstick to put on my lips so I looked sick and could get out of schooL!
    Please enter me!
    Thank you for the giveaway 🙂
    hurdler4eva(at)gmail(dot)com

  28. Looks like a good read, please enter me into this drawing.

    Thanks for hosting this giveaway.
    jake.lsewhere[at]gmail.com

  29. My great granddaughter would love this book. Please enter me.

    roylsue(at)telpage(dot)net

  30. Every once in awhile I would just skip school but I can’t ever remember trying to pull the wool over my mother’s eyes. I can’t say I liked school much but I passed and that was all I cared about.
    roylsue(at)telpage(dot)net

  33. Count me in, Dar.
    I sent up a tweet.
    As a kid, I let the hot water run & was "flush" so I could watch an episode of Days of Our Lives that left off w/ a cliff hanger on Friday. lol.

  35. I would love to win this for my daughter!

    Actually both my kids and I enjoy/enjoyed school, so I can’t remember any creative excuses. Although, I think it’s worse when they go to school and then get sick in class. Poor kids (and classmates)!

    I blogged about this in my right sidebar at:

    http://janelsjumble.blogspot.com

  36. Mary
    zenrei57 (at) hotmail (dot) com

    I’d love to read this!!! 🙂 Thanks so much for the opportunity!

  37. Mary
    zenrei57 (at) hotmail (dot) com

    Fake vomit recipe omg LOL
    Okay, I was always having cramps (sometimes for real), if I wanted to stay home and read (was a bookworm then, too!)comics, I’d get a bad case of the cramps hehehe

  39. I didn’t really do anything to get out of school, but the MUMPS worked really well for me. I had them on just one side and was home for a week and the day I was to go back to school my mom looked at me and I had them on the other side!

    My brother and sister also had them and because it was warm, my mom took us to the beach where we lay in the sun while the other kids were in school!

    Thanks

    nancyrobster@gmail.com

  41. My daughter who has just entered her tweens would so love this please enter me!

    ajcmeyer AT go DOT com

  42. The exerpt was hilarious! This would be great to read and then share with my nieces.

  43. This sounds like such a fun book. I would love to read it. Please enter me. :0)

    Thanks!
    librarygrinch at gmail dot com

  45. Please include me in your giveaway!
    Thanks Kim!
    Zoeyredbird9@gmail.com

    I used to fake really bad cramps all the time to get out of school but especially playing volleyball in gym class. To this day, volleyball makes me squeamish, I am so bad at it!

  49. I would love to win this one! I have a niece that would love this!

    runningmatey at hotmail dot com

  51. you know back when cramps worked all the time and I had some vicoous cramps please include me mrs.mommyyatgmaildotcom

  56. I went in the bathroom and pretended like I was throwing up. I locked the door so Mom wouldn’t come in. Then I “weakly” went to the door and let her in after I had flushed the toilet. It worked as far as staying home but she made me stay in bed all day.

    hafner611{AT}gmail{DOT}com

  57. Looks like a good read and would bring back some memories for me as well. Thank you for the giveaway

  59. Looks like a fine givaway.

    suefitz (at) yahoo (dot) com

    I actually wrote myself a note to get out of class to be a timer for the swim team. Got caught – never use your Dad’s signature – got caught and had to serve a day of detention (I was usually the good kid so got off light)

    Have posted on my tweet page (suefitz1)

  61. I would have to say in 2nd grade I played hooky all the time. I said I had a headache or my foot hurt.My teacher caught on because I started walking real good with the foot that was supposed to have hurt and she made me sit in class with no recess and called my mom. I did get by with it for a little while.lol jacquecurl1@gmail.com

  63. I too used the heating the thermometer trick when my mom was not in the bedroom! I heated it on the lightblub from the bedside lamp. That worked a couple of times before my mom figured out that the thermometer showed a high fever but I had a cool forehead! 🙂 I did have fun watching The Price is Right with my mom for at least one school day, though.

    Cindy
    Socmom213@aol.com

  64. Wow! I would love to be entered in this giveaway – the excerpt you posted makes me even more sure that this will be such a fun book 🙂

    +1 – shiloki[at]gmail[dot]com
    +2 – not really crazy, but I would fake having cramps or growing pains to get out of school. Hard for the parents to prove I was fibbing.
    +3 – I tweeted about this right here.

    Thanks Dar and Rachel for sharing a diary entry and the awesome contest 😀

  66. + I would pretend to be sick, delay in the bathroom, and move very slowly. Only being sick really got me out of school though.

    gaby317nyc AT gmail DOT com

  70. What a gorgeous set !
    My daughter would so love this.
    Thank you so much for the chance to win.

  71. My son tried to heat the thermometer under hot running water so the he had a temperature.
    He didn't realize that if his temperature had been that high he would not have been alive.

  72. Something crazy I did as a kid to get out of school was drinking a shot glass of olive oil. I then threw up and told my Mother I was sick and throwing up. I called her into the bathroom where the mess was waiting. I got to stay home from school. My Mom was easy to let me stay home. Please include me in the giveaway. Thank you.
    makeupgirl21@comcast.net

  76. Please include me in your give away. I was too good as a kid to do anything to stay home. I was home for 6 weeks with a virus that I did not enjoy.
    My kids never did anything to get out of school either. However my oldest daughter wanted out of Biology class when they were going to cut up a cat. I understand since she had lots of cats she did not want to do that and I just let her stay home.
    jrs362 (at) hotmail (dot) com

  77. Please enter me. Thanks!

    As a kid, I once did the whole 'thermometer by the lightbulb' trick.

    tiffanyak1986(at)hotmail(dot)com

  78. Please enter me. I can't think of anything crazy I did to get out of school and my kids haven't gotten there yet with the crazy things. DS#1 still likes school (2nd grade) and DS#2 is in preschool so what's not to like.

    crystalfulcher(at)ec.rr.com

  79. That's a funny excerpt. I don't remember faking vomit growing up, but your vomit recipe sounds nasty.

    My kids are still enjoying school,but when my middle daughter was in Kindergarten a school mate of hers faked sick. He went to school, then in the middle of the day he asked to go to the nurse and told the nurse he had a headache. His mom said they let him go home but he was fine when he got there.

    Hugs, Danette
    danetteschattinglounge at gmail dot com

  80. Eww hahaha

    Um I once tried to get out of school by faking a fever. I was like seven years old I don't even remember why I didn't want to go to school I just know I didn't. I remember putting my head under a lamp next to my bed to keep my head warm so that my mom would feel my forehead and think I really had a fever.

    I ended up being honest with her because she got really scared. It turns out that when I was about two weeks old I had a crazy fever that just wouldn't go down. My parents had to take me to the hospital, I guess she was worried that might happen again. Gosh I felt so AWFUL for having done something so stupid.

  83. I used to clean the bathrooms as a bribe to my mom to stay home.
    Thanks for the giveaway!
    Kimspam66(at)yahoo(dot)com

  84. Wow thanks for the contest! Very cool. Was too much of a goodie two-shoes to skip much. Once I skipped once class to study for another. My brilliant plan to study in the school library itself was foiled when I was spotted by another teacher 😛
    teagirl1 at telus dot net

  89. Being a high school math teacher for 23 years, I have seen just about every trick that could be accomplished to get out of going to school. When the kids would ask how I would know about such things, I would just tell them, "Been there, done that."

    Thank you,

    Christine
    womackcm@sbcglobal.net

  92. I've heard such good things about this book and I love the marketing idea! Please include me in the giveaway too. I would love to read this myself and then pass it on to my niece.

    I was very good in school and never really skipped or faked being sick. My mom even wrote me an excuse for Senior Skip Day! My kids have tried a few attempts at fake illnesses but not very often. They don't miss too much but there have been times where I knew they weren't very sick and I let them stay home for a little R&R anyway.

    When I was in college and home for summer breaks I would sometimes stay out too late with my friends. I didn't really have a curfew but I was usually in by a decent hour. One Friday night we were out all night at a party and a bonfire. I wasn't bad but it was dawn when I got home. I was trying to sneak up the stairs and get a little sleep before work. My dad was just getting up so I turned around and pretended that I was getting up too. Unfortunately, my dad was my boss so I had to go with that story the whole long, sleepless day. He probably wouldn't have even cared so I punished myself!

    I've added this to my sidebar.
    http://wrightysreads.blogspot.com

    5wrights1[at]verizon[dot]net

  95. We tried the old thermometer on the light bulb and cover yourself in spots using a crayola marker trick. It never worked.

  97. When I wasn't sick, I only skipped school when there was a party — I was a killjoy! Thanks for this giveaway!

  98. How fitting. My kid is home sick today because he barfed all over his room during the night. I thought the vomit recipe to be most accurate in its contents. Ewwwww!

    Please enter me:

    thereedfamilyATsbcglobalDOTnet

  99. What's the craziest thing I ever did to get out of school? I told a policeman that my friend was kidnapped. YES!! I know, how horrible I was. When they started to question me I fessed up and felt sure that I was going straight to HELL.

    thereedfamilyATsbcglobalDOTnet

  100. WOW – everyone is entering this one! Please add me to the hat. As far as crazy things I did to get out of school, I honestly didn't do much – maybe faked being sick a couple of times, but that's about it. I'm boring, lol! I am going to head over and tweet about this also!

    Thanks Dar!

    April
    ajpohren@iowatelecom.net

  101. So cute! Savingforhome at gmail dot com

    As a kid, I would pray for snowdays…yep, I thought God also didn't want me to have school the next day 🙂

  103. Dork Diaries sounds like a very fun book to read!

    Crazy…my kids just have to say they do not feel like going to school and then I let them stay home. Why? They are excellent students and that do not ask hardly every to stay home. Me…in highschool, I would simply not get on the bus at tech center and walk home. Not a big deal back then.

    ibeeeg(at)gmail(dot)com

  104. Dork Diaries sounds like a very fun book to read!

    Crazy…my kids just have to say they do not feel like going to school and then I let them stay home. Why? They are excellent students and that do not ask hardly every to stay home. Me…in highschool, I would simply not get on the bus at tech center and walk home. Not a big deal back then.

    ibeeeg(at)gmail(dot)com

  105. Oh my how adorable would this be to gift to a tween.. weeshenanigans (at) gmail (dot) com

  106. that was so funny with the vomit recipe; what some people won't try.

    yourstrulee(at)sasktel(dot)net

  107. I didn't have to pretend to be sick as I suffered with pain every month and quite often had a cold/sore throat or tonsilitis so got to stay home.

    yourstrulee(at)sasktel(dot)net