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Guest Post & Giveaway with Julie Buxbaum, Author of After You

November 13, 2009 by Darlene

I am very pleased to welcome Julie Buxbaum to Peeking Between the Pages today. I reviewed her latest novel After You yesterday and it’s one of my favorite books this year – you can read my review here. I haven’t yet read her first novel The Opposite of Love but I have my very own copy and will be delving in soon. So, sit back with your cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate and enjoy Julie’s thoughts today on Where her ideas come from…

The question I seem to get asked most often by readers is, on its face, a simple one: “Where do your ideas come from?” But I have to confess, I hate when this comes up because I never seem to have a decent answer. I wish there were an idea store I could visit each time I sat down to start a new project, or that finding a new book topic was as easy as a quick google. For me, the process–which I’m going through right now as I approach the incredibly daunting task of starting my third novel–is in many ways a subconscious one. I often don’t know where my ideas came from until long after a book is finished.

With AFTER YOU, my second novel, for example, I found myself suddenly captivated by the question of how well we really know the people we love. And once I wrapped my mind around this theme, and realized this was something I felt I could explore in a novel-length project, I started thinking about characters and plot. From there, Ellie Lerner, my main character was born. She gets the unique opportunity to step into the life of her best friend, and see behind that opaque curtain that separates all of us. When her best friend Lucy is murdered, Ellie drops everything–her husband, her career, her entire life in the Boston suburbs–to help take care of Lucy’s eight-year-old daughter Sophie. And in so doing, she gets to see her friend’s life from a whole new perspective, and perhaps learn a lot more about Lucy than she had ever bargained for.

Now that the book is out in stores, and I have some distance from its writing, I realize that a lot of the themes of AFTER YOU came from where I was in my own life when I sat down to start the project. I began thinking about the thematic underpinnings of the novel right around the time that my now-husband and I had gotten engaged. No wonder I was suddenly taken with the question of how well we know those closest to us! Suddenly–despite having known my partner for almost seven years at that point, and having had lived together for almost five–I began to spend hours obsessing about who was this person I had committed to marrying. What did he do during the long hours he went to the office? Where was he really, when I called at noon and his secretary said he was out to lunch? And what about all of the hundreds of details that make up a person? I could tell you his birthday, how he likes his peanut butter sandwiches cut, but I couldn’t have told you his favorite color, the name of his second grade teacher, or his third for that matter. In the wake of a huge commitment, and in the face of a lifelong one, I found that I needed to know everything. My poor husband put up with question after question, let me badger him when he came home from work about the minute details of his day.

Eventually, I gave up the pursuit, and realized something I should have known all along–I knew the man as well as one can know another human being. That there are parts of each of us that we keep hidden from the rest of the world, and sometimes even ourselves. That marriage–that all human relationships–are at heart gigantic leaps of faith.

So I guess the next time someone asks me where my ideas come from, I may just have to say my subconscious. And as I embark on this third book, I know I won’t understand its genesis until much, much later, long after I’ve written it’s final pages. But let’s be honest: an idea store would be nice.
~~~~~~~

Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful guest post with us Julie! I can’t wait for your next novel to come out! I want to be first in line to read it!

GIVEAWAY DETAILS

Courtesy of Julie herself, I have one copy of her novel After You to share with one of my lucky readers. What do you need to do to enter…

  • For 1 entry leave me a comment with a way to contact you.
  • For 2 entries share your thoughts on this topic of how well you really know someone. Do you think there are just certain things you may never know about those you love?
  • For 3 entries blog or tweet this giveaway to spread the word.

This giveaway is open to US & Canadian residents only and I will draw for the winner on Sunday, November 29, 2009. Good luck everyone!

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Comments

  1. Renee says

    November 13, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    reneesuz82(at)msn(dot)com

  2. Renee says

    November 13, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    I think the only person you can fully know is yourself and possibly a twin….. but even then there are times you're not together. I don't feel that I need to know everything about my spouse… when the need arises, he'll tell me what I want to know.

    reneesuz82(at)msn(dot)com

  3. scottsgal says

    November 13, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    Please count me in

    msboatgal at aol.com

  4. scottsgal says

    November 13, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    I think there is always something you will not know about your partner or spouse. Communication and honesty are key in a successful relationship but everyone has a secret or two.

    msboatgal at aol.com

  5. A Bookshelf Monstrosity says

    November 13, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    Thanks for the interview. Please enter me for this one! Thanks.

    fitz12383(at)hotmail(dot)com

  6. A Bookshelf Monstrosity says

    November 13, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    I posted this one on my blog:

    http://bookshelfmonstrosity.blogspot.com/2009/11/weekly-monstrosity-giveaway-list-1112.html

    fitz12383(at)hotmail(dot)com

  7. A Bookshelf Monstrosity says

    November 13, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    I am constantly surprised by the new things I discover about those close to me- family, friends, boyfriend. I do know these people well, but there are always more stories to be discovered.

  8. The Malko's says

    November 13, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    OOO, I love new authors, and she is new to me 🙂 brooke.malko@gmail.com

  9. Jo-Jo says

    November 13, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    I would love a chance to win this book.
    joannelong74 AT gmail DOT com

  10. Jo-Jo says

    November 13, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    I think there are always going to be some unknown things that come up in our lifetimes. I bet that with most of us there are some things even about ourselves that we just don't comprehend.
    joannelong74 AT gmail DOT com

  11. Pamela Keener says

    November 13, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    I would love to win this book.
    pk4290@comcast.net

  12. Pamela Keener says

    November 13, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    I think every one of us has things we hide from others. I agree the only person you can know is yourself.
    pk4290@comcast.net

  13. tetewa says

    November 13, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    I'd like to be included! tWarner419@aol.com

  14. Anna says

    November 13, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    I don't think there's any way to know everything about a person. And I think it's great that I'm still learning new things about my husband. Keeps it exciting! LOL

    I've posted this giveaway in my sidebar.

    –Anna
    Diary of an Eccentric
    diaryofaneccentric at hotmail dot com

  15. fredamans says

    November 13, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    Thank you for the entries.

    freda.mans[at]sympatico.ca

  16. fredamans says

    November 13, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Unfortunately I have been walked on, so with that said, I have troubles trusting anyone.

    If you can't trust your own flesh & blood, who can you trust??

    freda.mans[at]sympatico.ca

  17. fredamans says

    November 13, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Tweeted; http://twitter.com/fredalicious/status/5685731386

    freda.mans[at]sympatico.ca

  18. Linna says

    November 13, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    I really want to read this book. I love her "the opposite of love." I can't wait to read "After You." Please enter me.

    linna.hsu at gmail dot com

  19. Stephanie says

    November 13, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    This is an interesting discussion. I don't believe any of us completely knows anyone — even ourselves. It is possible to achieve deep closeness and insight, but there will always be closed doors.

    I twitted this giveaway: http://twitter.com/madbibliophile/statuses/5688970855

    laughingstars66@yahoo.com

  20. Wanda says

    November 13, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    I would love to be entered in your draw. Thanks.
    wandanamgreb(at)gmail(dot)com

  21. Wanda says

    November 13, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    I think some secrets are better left as secrets as long as they don't affect your future with someone. Sometimes, by telling your friend or spouse all your secrets, it can affect your future in a negative way.
    wandanamgreb(at)gmail(dot)com

  22. holdenj says

    November 13, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    What a wonderful author post. It looks like a great read.
    Thanks for the chance to win.
    JHolden955(at)gmail(dot)com

  23. Books We Read says

    November 13, 2009 at 10:47 pm

    Hi,

    I'm giving out free jewelry set for book reviews submitted for the following book:

    http://mylastread.blogspot.com/2009/11/half-sky-turning-oppression-into.html

    Also, I had added your to my blogroll:

    http://mylastread.blogspot.com/2009/02/internet-resources-that-are-of.html

    I would greatly appreciate if you can add my blog to your blog list.

    Regards

  24. bermudaonion says

    November 14, 2009 at 12:12 am

    What a thought provoking guest post. I'm not sure we always even know ourselves completely – sometimes it's hard to accept our faults and/or our strengths. Please enter me! milou2ster(at)gmail.com

  25. Staci says

    November 14, 2009 at 12:34 am

    Well, of course I would love to win this.

    ** I think that there is a secret place that we all keep hidden from others.

  26. AmandaSue says

    November 14, 2009 at 1:39 am

    Thanks for the chance into this giveaway.

    unforgetable_dreamer_always(at)hotmail.com

  27. Anonymous says

    November 14, 2009 at 1:43 am

    would LOVE to read this book…thanks for the opportunity.

    karenk
    kmkuka(at)yahoo(dot)Com

  28. a real librarian says

    November 14, 2009 at 1:52 am

    This one sounds great! Thanks for the chance to win!!

    areallibrarian[at]gmail[dot]com

  29. a real librarian says

    November 14, 2009 at 1:52 am

    I think its hard to ever really completely know someone. There is always something that seems to be held back.

  30. carla says

    November 14, 2009 at 1:59 am

    i think this sounds like a real thought provoking book.
    i would enjoy reading it.

    cjay (at) iavalley (dot) edu

  31. carla says

    November 14, 2009 at 2:03 am

    i think there are always things you don't know about another person. sometimes that's what keeps it interesting and fun, that they are always surprising you with how neat they are. (unless its bad things, i guess)
    sometimes i don't think we know ourselves that well either.
    thanks dar!

    cjay (at) iavalley (dot) edu

  32. Stacie says

    November 14, 2009 at 2:09 am

    Please count me in.

    simplystacieblog at gmail dot com

  33. Martha Lawson says

    November 14, 2009 at 2:26 am

    I don't think you ever really and truly know everything about another person!!

    mlawson17 at hotmail dot com

  34. Ann Diana Dinh, says

    November 14, 2009 at 5:19 am

    Count me in!

    behapppppppy(at)hotmail(dot)com

  35. Ann Diana Dinh, says

    November 14, 2009 at 5:20 am

    And I think there should be certain things that should be kept secrets…but then again, knowing someone completely is never a bad thing either.

    behapppppppy(at)hotmail(dot)com

  36. April says

    November 14, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    What an excellent guest post! This looks and sounds like such a great book!

    April
    ajpohren@iowatelecom.net

  37. Beth (BBRB) says

    November 14, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    This looks great! Please enter me!

    BethsBookReviewBlog AT gmail DOT com

  38. Creations by Laurel-Rain Snow says

    November 14, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    What a wonderful interview! I loved the book "After You" and reviewed it on my RAINY DAYS AND MONDAYS blog here:

    http://laurel-rain-snow.blogspot.com

    BTW, Dar, I have an award for you at my OBSESSIONS AND COMPULSIONS blog here:

    http://rainysnowyobsessions.blogspot.com

  39. carmen alexis says

    November 15, 2009 at 6:20 am

    Please count me in!
    I've read "Opposite of Love" and really liked it. This sounds like an amazing book. 🙂

    carmenalexistsang[at]gmail[dot]com

  40. carmen alexis says

    November 15, 2009 at 6:22 am

    I've honestly never thought about that… how well you can know someone despite being close to them. Because I guess I know that no one truly knows what I'm like, so it makes sense that I won't know another person to that extent. My friend and I share everything… but I think that the little things I don't know, and the new stuff I learn every day from her is what makes our friendship an adventure. Definitely a thought-provoking topic though. 🙂

    carmenalexistsang[at]gmail[dot]com

  41. Susan Helene Gottfried says

    November 15, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    Yes, an idea store would be great!

    No need to enter me, Dar. I'm dropping in to say thanks for the e-mail. I've got this posted at Win a Book for you.

  42. Jonita says

    November 15, 2009 at 11:12 pm

    Please enter me to win this one!

    jonitathebookchick(at)gmail(dot)com

  43. Jonita says

    November 15, 2009 at 11:14 pm

    I am still finding out new things about my husband, even after 8 years of being together. I think that it is wonderful: as long as we are honest with eachother, it's fun to find out little tidbits about his past along the way. I think that it keeps a little mystery in the relationship.

    jonitathebookchick(at)gmail(dot)com

  44. Jonita says

    November 15, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    I've added your contest to my sidebar over at http://book-chic.blogspot.com

    jonitathebookchick(at)gmail(dot)com

  45. Carrie K. says

    November 16, 2009 at 12:50 am

    I'd love to win this – thanks for the giveaway!

    nnjmom at yahoo dot com

  46. Carrie K. says

    November 16, 2009 at 12:51 am

    I think we can only know someone as well as they allow us to know them. I'm very open with my husband, but there are some things he just doesn't seem to understand about me – not for lack of trying. 🙂

    nnjmom at yahoo dot com

  47. Carrie K. says

    November 16, 2009 at 12:52 am

    I blogged your giveaway here:

    http://booksandmovies.colvilleblogger.com/2009/11/14/the-sunday-salon-november-15-2009-the-bookish-links-for-saturday-on-sunday-edition/

    Thanks!
    nnjmom at yahoo dot com

  48. Alice Teh says

    November 16, 2009 at 3:21 am

    Hi Dar, there's no need to enter me for this giveaway. I'm popping by to say hello to you and Julie Buxbaum. 🙂

  49. Emma says

    November 16, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    AFTER YOU sounds wonderful.Please enter me in the giveaway.augustlily06(at)aim(dot)com.Thank you.

  50. cherylbaryl says

    November 17, 2009 at 1:44 am

    I would love to win this book.

    cherylbaryl@hotmail.com

  51. Benita says

    November 17, 2009 at 3:10 am

    The book sounds great, and I loved the post. Thanks for this possibility.

    bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com

  52. Benita says

    November 17, 2009 at 3:11 am

    I don't think you ever know anyone completely, although there are times when we mistakenly think we do. Heck, there are even times we don't understand ourselves.

    bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com

  53. Dawn M. says

    November 17, 2009 at 8:59 am

    This sounds like a great story. Would love the chance to read it. Please count me in. :0)

    Thanks!
    librarygrinch at gmail dot com

  54. itsJUSTme-wendy says

    November 17, 2009 at 11:52 am

    Hey Dar,
    Would love to win this book!
    I am a follower
    I posted it on my blog.

    forevereading at gmail dot come

  55. Gayla says

    November 17, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    I've been married for 12 years and my personal feelings are that to know everything about a person, even your spouse, isn't really a need for me. Unless it's something that is bad, illegal or just morally corrupt. Leaving some things a mystery and private is OK with me. I just don't feel the need to know "everything" about a person–most especially a good person 🙂

    Thank you, Gayla
    unfussy2@gmail.com
    http://unfussyliving.blogspot.com/

  56. Anonymous says

    November 17, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    This sounds like a great book to read. Love to win.
    RJB
    loki304[at]tds[dot]net

  57. Zibilee says

    November 17, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    Great interview! I find it really interesting that she sometimes has a hard time coming up with ideas for her books because it seems as though that part would be the easy part! I would love a chance to win a copy of the book, so please enter me in the giveaway!

    zibilee(at)figearo(dot)net

    I am also a follower of your blog.

  58. Lady_Graeye says

    November 18, 2009 at 3:07 am

    I just found your blog and love it. I don't think you ever truly know everything about somebody because people like their secrets. Even my identical twins who know everythin about each other still have a secret ot two!

  59. Lady_Graeye says

    November 18, 2009 at 3:13 am

    Oooops forgot to leave my email:

    lady.graeye(at)gmail(dot)com

  60. christin says

    November 19, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    This sounds great! Thanks for the chance!!
    christinbanda at yahoo dot com

  61. Laura's Reviews says

    November 20, 2009 at 1:23 am

    Great interview! I think there are always things you will not know about the people that you love. Especially as everyone is viewed a little different by all of the people that you come into contact with!

    My email address is laarlt78(at)hotmail(dot)com.

    Thanks!

  62. SueFitz says

    November 20, 2009 at 9:19 am

    Great interview and have retweeted on @froggyfitz

  63. Jo-Jo says

    November 20, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    I blogged about the contest here.
    joannelong74 AT gmail DOT com

  64. DarcyO says

    November 21, 2009 at 3:54 am

    Great interview. I'd love to read this one.

    dlodden at frontiernet dot net

  65. DarcyO says

    November 21, 2009 at 3:56 am

    I think most people put on a front, even in their close relationships, so they cover up their shortcomings.

    dlodden at frontiernet dot net

  66. Margie says

    November 22, 2009 at 1:35 am

    Please include me in your giveaway. Thanks!
    mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com

  67. Margie says

    November 22, 2009 at 1:36 am

    I think everyone has a few things that they won't discuss. A good relationship is very open, but probably never total disclosure.
    mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com

  68. Esme says

    November 22, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    Sign me up please-as a lawyer I love fellow attorneys who do something different-and yes there is some envy-quit work , great advance, writing books, living in London. thank you

  69. Esme says

    November 22, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    I firmly believe you do not always know everything about another person-that is fine-not everything needs to be shared.

  70. Esme says

    November 22, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    cococroissants

    peekingbetweenthepages.blogspot.com/2009/11/guest-post-giveaway-with-julie-buxbaum.html giveaway for After You

  71. Esme says

    November 22, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    oops I had forgotten my email-here it is

    chocolate and croissants at yahoo dot com

  72. Dina says

    November 22, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    This book sounds fascinating! And sometimes people don't even fully know themselves, let alone another person. Aitmama {{ta}} gmail {{tod}} com

  73. Dina says

    November 22, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    ha. combined my 2 entries into one…

  74. Sarah says

    November 23, 2009 at 8:17 am

    Please enter me in this giveaway!

    saemmerson at yahoo dot com

    Sarah Emmerson

  75. Sarah says

    November 23, 2009 at 8:20 am

    I think there are many things a person cannot, and may not, ever know about another person, no matter how close one feels to them. Although I have spent my entire life living with my family, I sometimes feel as if we are a family of strangers.

    saemmerson at yahoo dot com

    Sarah Emmerson

  76. Sarah says

    November 23, 2009 at 8:21 am

    I tweeted:
    https://twitter.com/saemmerson/status/5971425912

    saemmerson at yahoo dot com

    Sarah Emmerson

  77. Anonymous says

    November 23, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    Count me in Please.
    RJB
    loki304[at]tds[dot]net

  78. alitareads says

    November 24, 2009 at 12:44 am

    I just added After You to my to-read list today 🙂

    alitareads[at]gmail[dot]com

  79. Allison says

    November 24, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    Please enter me!

    allygotts567 at hotmail dot com

  80. Allison says

    November 24, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    Of course, I think everyone has something they keep to themselves no matter what.

    allygotts567 at hotmail dot com

  81. Janet Ruth says

    November 25, 2009 at 4:08 am

    I am a new follower, love your blog! Please include me in this giveaway.

    alongtheway(at)telus(dot)net

  82. Emma says

    November 27, 2009 at 5:12 am

    AFTER YOU sounds wonderful.Please enter me in the giveaway.augustlily06(at)aim(dot)com.Thank you.

  83. Wanda says

    November 27, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    After 25 years together (almost 21 as husband and wife), sometimes I think I know my hubby too well. Other times, I'm glad we can't read each other's mind! 😉

    I'll add this to my Up for Grabs post.

    wanda_waiting[@]hotmail[.]com

  84. Seeking Simplicity says

    November 27, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    Please include me in your drawing. And thank you for offering it to us.

    I've been married almost 20 years…and am surprise when I find out something new about my husband. I'm pretty sure that I don't know everything about him… and likewise… sometimes I can even surprise myself with new things I discovered about me.

    You can reach me through my blog: http://angiebeth.blogspot.com or my email which is angiedasner@yahoo.com

    Thanks so much

  85. Vicki says

    November 28, 2009 at 9:48 pm

    I would so love to win this book!

    readingatthebeach at gmail dot com

  86. Vicki says

    November 28, 2009 at 9:58 pm

    I don't think you can truly know someone, not even yourself. We all have things about ourself that we don't willingly tell others. We all could get into situations that may cause us to do something really out of character. I don't think any one can say 100% that "I wouldn't do that!" because you never know how you'll react to a situation until you are actually faced with that situation. I don't think it's a bad thing to not know every little thing about someone. I think there are lots of things that would be TMI and would cloud a very good relationship.

    readingatthebeach at gmail dot com

  87. Vicki says

    November 28, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    I posted this giveaway on my sidebar HERE

    readingatthebeach at gmail dot com

  88. CherylS22 says

    November 29, 2009 at 2:51 am

    Thank you so much for the chance to win this book!
    megalon22{at}yahoo{dot}com

  89. CherylS22 says

    November 29, 2009 at 2:53 am

    I think there are always things you don't know about those you love. Not necessarily that secrets are kept in a relationship – just that people, in general, have memories that are private.
    megalon22{at}yahoo{dot}com

  90. kristinemarie7 says

    November 29, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    Please enter me. Thanks!
    kristinemarie7 at gmail.com

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