Peeking Between the Pages

...escape into the pages of a good book

Guest Post & Giveaway with Julie Buxbaum, Author of After You

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I am very pleased to welcome Julie Buxbaum to Peeking Between the Pages today. I reviewed her latest novel After You yesterday and it’s one of my favorite books this year – you can read my review here. I haven’t yet read her first novel The Opposite of Love but I have my very own copy and will be delving in soon. So, sit back with your cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate and enjoy Julie’s thoughts today on Where her ideas come from…

The question I seem to get asked most often by readers is, on its face, a simple one: “Where do your ideas come from?” But I have to confess, I hate when this comes up because I never seem to have a decent answer. I wish there were an idea store I could visit each time I sat down to start a new project, or that finding a new book topic was as easy as a quick google. For me, the process–which I’m going through right now as I approach the incredibly daunting task of starting my third novel–is in many ways a subconscious one. I often don’t know where my ideas came from until long after a book is finished.

With AFTER YOU, my second novel, for example, I found myself suddenly captivated by the question of how well we really know the people we love. And once I wrapped my mind around this theme, and realized this was something I felt I could explore in a novel-length project, I started thinking about characters and plot. From there, Ellie Lerner, my main character was born. She gets the unique opportunity to step into the life of her best friend, and see behind that opaque curtain that separates all of us. When her best friend Lucy is murdered, Ellie drops everything–her husband, her career, her entire life in the Boston suburbs–to help take care of Lucy’s eight-year-old daughter Sophie. And in so doing, she gets to see her friend’s life from a whole new perspective, and perhaps learn a lot more about Lucy than she had ever bargained for.

Now that the book is out in stores, and I have some distance from its writing, I realize that a lot of the themes of AFTER YOU came from where I was in my own life when I sat down to start the project. I began thinking about the thematic underpinnings of the novel right around the time that my now-husband and I had gotten engaged. No wonder I was suddenly taken with the question of how well we know those closest to us! Suddenly–despite having known my partner for almost seven years at that point, and having had lived together for almost five–I began to spend hours obsessing about who was this person I had committed to marrying. What did he do during the long hours he went to the office? Where was he really, when I called at noon and his secretary said he was out to lunch? And what about all of the hundreds of details that make up a person? I could tell you his birthday, how he likes his peanut butter sandwiches cut, but I couldn’t have told you his favorite color, the name of his second grade teacher, or his third for that matter. In the wake of a huge commitment, and in the face of a lifelong one, I found that I needed to know everything. My poor husband put up with question after question, let me badger him when he came home from work about the minute details of his day.

Eventually, I gave up the pursuit, and realized something I should have known all along–I knew the man as well as one can know another human being. That there are parts of each of us that we keep hidden from the rest of the world, and sometimes even ourselves. That marriage–that all human relationships–are at heart gigantic leaps of faith.

So I guess the next time someone asks me where my ideas come from, I may just have to say my subconscious. And as I embark on this third book, I know I won’t understand its genesis until much, much later, long after I’ve written it’s final pages. But let’s be honest: an idea store would be nice.
~~~~~~~

Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful guest post with us Julie! I can’t wait for your next novel to come out! I want to be first in line to read it!

GIVEAWAY DETAILS

Courtesy of Julie herself, I have one copy of her novel After You to share with one of my lucky readers. What do you need to do to enter…

  • For 1 entry leave me a comment with a way to contact you.
  • For 2 entries share your thoughts on this topic of how well you really know someone. Do you think there are just certain things you may never know about those you love?
  • For 3 entries blog or tweet this giveaway to spread the word.

This giveaway is open to US & Canadian residents only and I will draw for the winner on Sunday, November 29, 2009. Good luck everyone!

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Comments

  2. I think the only person you can fully know is yourself and possibly a twin….. but even then there are times you're not together. I don't feel that I need to know everything about my spouse… when the need arises, he'll tell me what I want to know.

    reneesuz82(at)msn(dot)com

  4. I think there is always something you will not know about your partner or spouse. Communication and honesty are key in a successful relationship but everyone has a secret or two.

    msboatgal at aol.com

  5. Thanks for the interview. Please enter me for this one! Thanks.

    fitz12383(at)hotmail(dot)com

  7. I am constantly surprised by the new things I discover about those close to me- family, friends, boyfriend. I do know these people well, but there are always more stories to be discovered.

  10. I think there are always going to be some unknown things that come up in our lifetimes. I bet that with most of us there are some things even about ourselves that we just don't comprehend.
    joannelong74 AT gmail DOT com

  14. I don't think there's any way to know everything about a person. And I think it's great that I'm still learning new things about my husband. Keeps it exciting! LOL

    I've posted this giveaway in my sidebar.

    –Anna
    Diary of an Eccentric
    diaryofaneccentric at hotmail dot com

  16. Unfortunately I have been walked on, so with that said, I have troubles trusting anyone.

    If you can't trust your own flesh & blood, who can you trust??

    freda.mans[at]sympatico.ca

  18. I really want to read this book. I love her "the opposite of love." I can't wait to read "After You." Please enter me.

    linna.hsu at gmail dot com

  21. I think some secrets are better left as secrets as long as they don't affect your future with someone. Sometimes, by telling your friend or spouse all your secrets, it can affect your future in a negative way.
    wandanamgreb(at)gmail(dot)com

  22. What a wonderful author post. It looks like a great read.
    Thanks for the chance to win.
    JHolden955(at)gmail(dot)com

  24. What a thought provoking guest post. I'm not sure we always even know ourselves completely – sometimes it's hard to accept our faults and/or our strengths. Please enter me! milou2ster(at)gmail.com

  25. Well, of course I would love to win this.

    ** I think that there is a secret place that we all keep hidden from others.

  29. I think its hard to ever really completely know someone. There is always something that seems to be held back.

  30. i think this sounds like a real thought provoking book.
    i would enjoy reading it.

    cjay (at) iavalley (dot) edu

  31. i think there are always things you don't know about another person. sometimes that's what keeps it interesting and fun, that they are always surprising you with how neat they are. (unless its bad things, i guess)
    sometimes i don't think we know ourselves that well either.
    thanks dar!

    cjay (at) iavalley (dot) edu

  33. I don't think you ever really and truly know everything about another person!!

    mlawson17 at hotmail dot com

  35. And I think there should be certain things that should be kept secrets…but then again, knowing someone completely is never a bad thing either.

    behapppppppy(at)hotmail(dot)com

  39. Please count me in!
    I've read "Opposite of Love" and really liked it. This sounds like an amazing book. 🙂

    carmenalexistsang[at]gmail[dot]com

  40. I've honestly never thought about that… how well you can know someone despite being close to them. Because I guess I know that no one truly knows what I'm like, so it makes sense that I won't know another person to that extent. My friend and I share everything… but I think that the little things I don't know, and the new stuff I learn every day from her is what makes our friendship an adventure. Definitely a thought-provoking topic though. 🙂

    carmenalexistsang[at]gmail[dot]com

  41. Yes, an idea store would be great!

    No need to enter me, Dar. I'm dropping in to say thanks for the e-mail. I've got this posted at Win a Book for you.

  43. I am still finding out new things about my husband, even after 8 years of being together. I think that it is wonderful: as long as we are honest with eachother, it's fun to find out little tidbits about his past along the way. I think that it keeps a little mystery in the relationship.

    jonitathebookchick(at)gmail(dot)com

  46. I think we can only know someone as well as they allow us to know them. I'm very open with my husband, but there are some things he just doesn't seem to understand about me – not for lack of trying. 🙂

    nnjmom at yahoo dot com

  48. Hi Dar, there's no need to enter me for this giveaway. I'm popping by to say hello to you and Julie Buxbaum. 🙂

  52. I don't think you ever know anyone completely, although there are times when we mistakenly think we do. Heck, there are even times we don't understand ourselves.

    bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com

  53. This sounds like a great story. Would love the chance to read it. Please count me in. :0)

    Thanks!
    librarygrinch at gmail dot com

  54. Hey Dar,
    Would love to win this book!
    I am a follower
    I posted it on my blog.

    forevereading at gmail dot come

  55. I've been married for 12 years and my personal feelings are that to know everything about a person, even your spouse, isn't really a need for me. Unless it's something that is bad, illegal or just morally corrupt. Leaving some things a mystery and private is OK with me. I just don't feel the need to know "everything" about a person–most especially a good person 🙂

    Thank you, Gayla
    unfussy2@gmail.com
    http://unfussyliving.blogspot.com/

  57. Great interview! I find it really interesting that she sometimes has a hard time coming up with ideas for her books because it seems as though that part would be the easy part! I would love a chance to win a copy of the book, so please enter me in the giveaway!

    zibilee(at)figearo(dot)net

    I am also a follower of your blog.

  58. I just found your blog and love it. I don't think you ever truly know everything about somebody because people like their secrets. Even my identical twins who know everythin about each other still have a secret ot two!

  61. Great interview! I think there are always things you will not know about the people that you love. Especially as everyone is viewed a little different by all of the people that you come into contact with!

    My email address is laarlt78(at)hotmail(dot)com.

    Thanks!

  65. I think most people put on a front, even in their close relationships, so they cover up their shortcomings.

    dlodden at frontiernet dot net

  67. I think everyone has a few things that they won't discuss. A good relationship is very open, but probably never total disclosure.
    mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com

  68. Sign me up please-as a lawyer I love fellow attorneys who do something different-and yes there is some envy-quit work , great advance, writing books, living in London. thank you

  69. I firmly believe you do not always know everything about another person-that is fine-not everything needs to be shared.

  70. cococroissants

    peekingbetweenthepages.blogspot.com/2009/11/guest-post-giveaway-with-julie-buxbaum.html giveaway for After You

  72. This book sounds fascinating! And sometimes people don't even fully know themselves, let alone another person. Aitmama {{ta}} gmail {{tod}} com

  75. I think there are many things a person cannot, and may not, ever know about another person, no matter how close one feels to them. Although I have spent my entire life living with my family, I sometimes feel as if we are a family of strangers.

    saemmerson at yahoo dot com

    Sarah Emmerson

  80. Of course, I think everyone has something they keep to themselves no matter what.

    allygotts567 at hotmail dot com

  81. I am a new follower, love your blog! Please include me in this giveaway.

    alongtheway(at)telus(dot)net

  83. After 25 years together (almost 21 as husband and wife), sometimes I think I know my hubby too well. Other times, I'm glad we can't read each other's mind! 😉

    I'll add this to my Up for Grabs post.

    wanda_waiting[@]hotmail[.]com

  84. Please include me in your drawing. And thank you for offering it to us.

    I've been married almost 20 years…and am surprise when I find out something new about my husband. I'm pretty sure that I don't know everything about him… and likewise… sometimes I can even surprise myself with new things I discovered about me.

    You can reach me through my blog: http://angiebeth.blogspot.com or my email which is angiedasner@yahoo.com

    Thanks so much

  86. I don't think you can truly know someone, not even yourself. We all have things about ourself that we don't willingly tell others. We all could get into situations that may cause us to do something really out of character. I don't think any one can say 100% that "I wouldn't do that!" because you never know how you'll react to a situation until you are actually faced with that situation. I don't think it's a bad thing to not know every little thing about someone. I think there are lots of things that would be TMI and would cloud a very good relationship.

    readingatthebeach at gmail dot com

  89. I think there are always things you don't know about those you love. Not necessarily that secrets are kept in a relationship – just that people, in general, have memories that are private.
    megalon22{at}yahoo{dot}com