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Book Review: Alexis: My True Story of Being Seduced by an Online Predator by Alexis Singer & Giveaway

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You always hear about it and it horrifies you and scares you for your own children. What is it? It’s online predators – one of the scariest things today about the internet for our young people. In Alexis: My True Story of Being Seduced by an Online Predator, Alexis Singer shares her most private thoughts on the nightmare that was her life when this happened to her and almost destroyed her and who she thought she was.

Alexis is lonely – she’s not having the best summer. She’s just finished her junior year of high school and she’s stressed right out. She had broken up with her boyfriend months earlier and the friends that she’s had for years seem to not want to hang out with her any more and her parents are increasingly unavailable to her. As if that isn’t enough she’s dealing with SAT’s, AP courses, deciding on colleges, her father divorcing her stepmother, and struggling with making new friends. That’s a huge amount of pressure on a sixteen-year-old girl.

As with most teenagers, Alexis spends a lot of time on the computer. She had found a message board that she frequented all the time and in it she had found a place where she could go to and escape her everyday life and talk to people who had similar interests. She felt like a somebody there – people listened and responded. On this board was one man who was the most popular but also really sarcastic and rude. It seemed he didn’t like Alexis at all, taking every chance he could to insult her political views and her age. So, why when an instant message appeared on her screen from this man and she actually responded to it remains unclear to me and her. Even more scary was what the first message said, ‘yer not 18 yet, are ya?’ (pg 7)

This was the beginning of what would be a hellish rollercoaster of emotions for Alexis. This 37-year-old man, ‘Phil’, wormed his way into her life, into her very soul and preyed on her loneliness and vulnerability. She said she probably would have dismissed him as a creep ‘but he was older and he was smart, and he took the time out to recognize what I had to say. (pg 20) At first the conversations were about simple enough things but that soon changed and he began with the cybersex and the requests for naked photos of her. She knew it was wrong, she was uncomfortable with it and yet this man paid attention to her – something nobody else seemed to do so she went along with it.

By the time her mother found out what was going on this ‘relationship’ had caused her much emotional trauma for two and a half years. This man caused her to look at life differently – to look at men differently. Is that all men would ever want from her – her body and sex? Did she have nothing else to offer? This ordeal left her questioning everything about herself including her worthiness as a person. Her mother put a stop to everything by taking away her internet privileges and her phone but there are other ways of contacting someone if you truly want to.

Alexis is now taking control of her life although she admits to some sporadic contact with this man still – she still longs for him. I admit to not fully understanding that. The man has a wife and even had a child (how terrifying that he will be bringing up a daughter). How many other girls has he done this to? How many more lives has he destroyed – I bet plenty. At so many points in this book I was so angry at her for being so naive and yet understanding her desperate need for a connection of some sort with someone.

This book is so important in this day and age of the internet. There’s Facebook and who knows what else out there where there are these types of predators just waiting to prey on vulnerable young people. Maybe with more books like this young people will think twice before falling into what can only destroy them. I’m impressed with Alexis for sharing this very painful story with others; for caring enough to do that. If she can even help one other girl with her story that will be a good thing. There are also discussion questions in the book which would make it an excellent tool for a teacher or parent in sharing and talking about what can happen online with their students or their own kids.

Alexis is currently attending University and studying political science and women’s studies. I wish her every success in getting her life back on track and succeeding. In doing that, she ultimately wins.

I read Alexis: My True Story of Being Seduced by an Online Predator for TLC Book Tour’s Louder Than Words tour. I think the Louder Than Words books will be an excellent resource for young people and I’d love to see them do well – they are teens talking to teens and who better to do it. It’s a lot easier to listen and heed advice from someone your age than from your parents. Make sure to check out the Louder Than Words website for more information and Alexis’ page there. Deborah Reber, editor of the Louder Than Words memoirs has a popular blog for girls that you should check out as well called Smart Girls Know. If you’re a teen who has their own story to submit you can do so here.

I’ll be reviewing all three books on the Louder Than Words tour and I’m so glad I am. Please be sure to check back for my review of Hannah on August 24 and Rae on August 31. Be sure to pop in to all the other tour stops for these wonderful books! As a note, these books are not only of interest to teens. I found it extremely interesting as an adult as well and I think they’d be important for parents to read as well. They could pass on important clues as to what to look for in your own children when trouble is brewing.

My thanks…to Lisa with TLC Book Tours and the publisher for my review copy of Alexis: My True Story of Being Seduced by an Online Predator by Alexis Singer.

GIVEAWAY DETAILS

I have 1 set of all three books – Alexis, Hannah & Rae to give away to one lucky winner. I also have a copy of the single book Alexis to share with one reader. To enter…

  • For 1 entry leave me a comment with a way to contact you. Please ensure you include your email address or your entry will be deleted.
  • For 2 entries blog or tweet this giveaway.

This giveaway is open to US & Canadian residents only (no PO boxes) as the books will be coming directly from the publisher. I will draw for the winners on Saturday, September 18/10. Good luck everyone!

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Comments

  4. I have seen alot of TV shows regarding this storyline and I would like to win and read this book.

    cenya2 at hotmail dot com

  5. Wow, what a story. I'm amazed that she's still drawn toward that man and I'm wondering why he wasn't prosecuted.

  6. Oh gosh, this is just scary. No need to enter me, Dar, since my daughter is only 2 I'd just be inducing a psychosis that would last for the next 10 years. But I can absolutely understand your frustration with Alexis…..I think I'd just want to slap her silly.

  7. No need to enter me in the giveaway but I just had a situation with my son that was bordering on something like this. It was the reason for his 3 month grounding!!

    Very scary and unfortunately something parents have to contend with today.

  8. As a mom of two young girls just starting to spend time online, it's truly terrifying to know that there are people out there just waiting to prey on them and take advantage of their innocence. These books sound like an excellent resource for parents and educators as well as teens. Thanks so much, Dar, for being on the tour!

  9. Wow, this sounds like a horrifying and painful story to read, but I'm really glad that she put herself out there and wrote it to help others. I would love to win a copy of this book (and the others!) as it sounds really great. amy.mckie[at]gmail.com

  10. This is such an important book and I'm glad Alexis and others are sharing there stories. I have a teenage sister who thinks nothing bad can happen to her and I think this book would be a good book to share with her. Thanks for entering me into this giveaway.

    unforgetable_dreamer_always(at)hotmail.com

  11. Dar, as a mother of a teenage girl who spends a lot of time on the internet, this book sounds truly frightening, but also very important. I loved your review on this book and thought you had some really valuable insight. I would love to be entered in this giveaway because I think these would be really important books for my daughter. Thanks for holding this contest.

    zibilee(at)figearo(dot)net

  15. Stories like this put the fear of God in me, and we HAVE to pay attention. Kids are all over the Internet right now, with Facebook and chat rooms and online video games. I am like a lurking hawk with my kids, and with my kids' friends. I am so pleased that books like this are helping us all be more aware. Please enter me!

    rnawrot at cfl dot rr dot com

  16. This sounds really interesting, online predators are something we all need to be aware about.
    What happened to Alexis is very scary! Sadly its so much easeir nowadays for creeps like that to get ahold of innocent kids.
    Great review Dar!

    http://thebookworm07.blogspot.com/

  17. Thank you so much for your very thoughtful review of ALEXIS. Having had the honor of working with Alexis as she wrote her book, I was and continue to be impacted by her journey and her willingness to share it with the world. Her intentions in doing so are the best – to prevent it from happening to someone else – and I admire that about her. I hope this book gets conversations started and makes a difference for teens out there.
    Thanks again for being on the blog tour!
    Best,
    Deborah Reber, editor of Louder Than Words

  18. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I have a 15yo who is on the computer a lot. Even though we talk often about the dangers that lurk in cyberspace, kids this age really do believe that they are smart enough to stay out of danger.

  20. As a mom to an 11 yr old girl, I think I NEED to read this. I have added it to my list of books to read. I would love to win a copy.Please enter me. Thanks

    lovemykidsandbooks AT gmail DOT com

  21. Wow. What a horrifying experience. I can see why these books are so important, especially in today's day and age.

    No need to enter me in the giveaway, Darlene.

  23. Oh, I'm definitely going to tell my students about this book! I teach 15-18-year-olds and this is so timely for them. I'd love to win and have it in my classroom library. I'm also going to tell our librarian about it. Thanks for this excellent review!

  27. These stories make me sad and sick! I cannot believe there are people out there like this. I guess I want to believe there is good in everyone, but these are issues that should be talked about between parents and children.

    No need to enter me….but this sounds like an eye-opener

  28. Just read your review of this and just your version of the story was enough to effect me. It sounds so emotional. Think I will have to read the book!

  30. These books sound important. I'm eagerly waiting for your other reviews of this series. I need to look into them for sure.

  35. These would be great for my niece. Count me in, please!

    Thanks! :0)
    librarygrinch at gmail dot com

  36. Hi Dar, this book is very much needed, especially now in the age of social networking. I've read a couple of local news of people, particularly women (young and old), being conned emotionally and preyed upon. I personally have come across some cyber sweet talkers who could really make you feel good and "connect" with you emotionally. There are all sorts of online predators around.

    I'd love to try my luck in winning this book. I'm not in the US but using the same basis in my comment for your Holly giveaway, I'd like to try. Thanks, Dar!

    teh (dot) alice (at) gmail (dot) com

  37. Wow it is like these books speak directly to me. I've been a cutter and when I was sixteen I had a two year relationship with a man more than twice my age online. I still miss him at it has been 15 years. Wow. These books are not just for teens now but for those who are recovering from similiar experiences

    giveawaymommy at yahoo.com

  42. Awesome giveaway! I would LOVE to be the winner! Thanks for the chance.

    nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net