Good day everyone. I hope you’re all having a great week. Today I have Melissa Foster, author of Come Back to Me, visiting here at Peeking Between the Pages. I reviewed Melissa’s newest novel Come Back to Me last week (my review) and I really loved it. I’ve also read her novel Megan’s Way (my review) which I really enjoyed as well. She’s fast become a favorite author of mine and I’ll be keeping a look out for what she writes next. In the meantime she joins us with a guest post entitled… Gracefully Bowing Out…
As Thanksgiving nears, many holiday themes come to mind. Giving and gratitude are two of the most common thoughts this time of year, I believe. I’m a giver. I give of my time and I give of my “stuff”. It makes me happy, but that’s no secret. I’m equally as enamored with gratitude. Giving never feels complete without gratitude by its side. When I give, I thank the people who accept my time or my services or material items. I don’t thank them in order to get something back, but simply because it’s a gift to be accepted, and I appreciate that. I wish more people would remember that and show gratitude for the small things in life, like the mailman, for example. Rain, sleet, or snow, your mailman is there, bringing you your bills, Netflix movies, and gossip rags. How often do you thank them? Hmm…perhaps a note in the mailbox would work.
Sometimes people ask me when enough is enough. Have you ever gone overboard with giving? Strange question, I know, but an important one. We only have so much to give of ourselves—our time, or our energy. Going overboard has nothing to do with how much gratitude you receive in return for your generosity; it has to do with running out of fuel. I think you know you’ve gone overboard if you have no energy left for yourself.
I’ve written about our emotional buckets before, and the importance of rejuvenation of the emotional energy we expend, but I don’t think I’ve spoken about graceful ways to say “no”.
We all know that we can run ourselves ragged, and when we do, we can’t help others or ourselves. Below are a few tips for bowing out gracefully:
1. Honesty prevails: Lead with honesty. Friends are more likely to understand and accept if you begin with the truth. Overscheduled? Tired? Feeling used? Begin by telling them that you would love to help, but—then go straight for honesty. Creating false reasons to try and save hurt feelings will only lead to a need to cover your trail. Honesty is valued. Share it.
2. Offer other means of help: If you don’t have time to do something, offer other resources for the person to utilize. Direct them to sources that you trust.
3. Postpone. If a deadline is not critical, it’s okay to postpone, and sometimes it’s the wisest move. Never be in a hurry to give anything 50% effort. It’s also okay to use all three of these strategies, “I’m really overscheduled right now, but I’d love to help you next Friday, and if that doesn’t work, perhaps try Ihelpyoufakewebsite dot com.”
The bottom line is that you need to rejuvenate, and it’s hard to say no to a friend or colleague, but it’s also necessary. Be kind to yourself. Honor your need to regroup. You’ll be able to better serve others if you do.
I’d love to hear your tips for bowing out gracefully.
Thank you for the great post Melissa! My problem with saying no is that when and if I do I always feel so guilty that I end up feeling worse than had I said yes. lol. I’d like to wish you and my readers a Happy Thanksgiving!
About Come Back to Me by Melissa Foster
Tess Johnson has it all: her handsome photographer husband Beau, a thriving business, and a newly discovered pregnancy. When Beau accepts an overseas photography assignment, Tess decides to wait to reveal her secret—only she’s never given the chance. Beau’s helicopter crashes in the desert.
Tess struggles with the news of Beau’s death and tries to put her life back together. Alone and dealing with a pregnancy that only reminds her of what she has lost, Tess is adrift in a world of failed plans and fallen expectations. When a new client appears offering more than just a new project, Tess must confront the circumstances of her life head on.
Meanwhile, two Iraqi women who are fleeing honor killings find Beau barely alive in the middle of the desert, his body ravaged by the crash. Suha, a doctor, and Samira, a widow and mother of three young children, nurse him back to health in a makeshift tent. Beau bonds with the women and children, and together, with the help of an underground organization, they continue their dangerous escape.
What happens next is a test of loyalties, strength, and love.
Read an excerpt
Buy Come Back to Me at Amazon.com
About Melissa Foster
Melissa Foster is the bestselling, award-winning author of three novels, Megan’s Way, Chasing Amanda, and Come Back to Me. She has also been published in Indie Chicks, and anthology. She is the founder of the Women’s Nest, a social and support community for women, and the WoMen’s Literary Cafe, a cross-promotional site for authors, reviewers, bloggers, and readers. Melissa is currently collaborating in the film production of Megan’s Way, and hard at work on her next novel.
Melissa hosts an annual Aspiring Authors contest for children, she’s written for Calgary’s Child Magazine and Women Business Owners Magazine, and has painted and donated several murals to The Hospital for Sick Children in Washington, DC. Melissa lives in Maryland with her family. Melissa’s interests include her family, reading, writing, painting, friends, helping women see the positive side of life, and visiting Cape Cod.
Melissa is available to chat with book clubs and welcomes comments and emails from her readers. Visit Melissa on The Women’s Nest or her personal website.
Melissa’s interests include her family, reading, writing, painting, friends, helping women see the positive side of life, and visiting Cape Cod. A portion of every book sold is donated to Provincetown Cares.
Melissa enjoys discussing her books with book clubs and reader groups, and welcomes an invitation to your event.
I have one copy of Come Back to Me by Melissa Foster to share with my readers. To enter…
- For 1 entry simply leave me a comment entering the giveaway.
- For 2 entries, follow my blog. If you already do, thank you, and please let me know in your comment so that I can pass the extra entry on to you as well.
- For 3 entries, blog or tweet this giveaway and spread the word.
This giveaway is open to US & Canadian residents only (no PO boxes) and I will draw for the winner on Saturday, December 17/11. Good luck everyone!