Peeking Between the Pages

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Guest Post with Melissa Foster, author of Come Back to Me & Giveaway

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Good day everyone.  I hope you’re all having a great week.  Today I have Melissa Foster, author of Come Back to Me, visiting here at Peeking Between the Pages.  I reviewed Melissa’s newest novel Come Back to Me last week (my review) and I really loved it.  I’ve also read her novel Megan’s Way (my review) which I really enjoyed as well.  She’s fast become a favorite author of mine and I’ll be keeping a look out for what she writes next.  In the meantime she joins us with a guest post entitled… Gracefully Bowing Out…

As Thanksgiving nears, many holiday themes come to mind. Giving and gratitude are two of the most common thoughts this time of year, I believe. I’m a giver. I give of my time and I give of my “stuff”. It makes me happy, but that’s no secret. I’m equally as enamored with gratitude. Giving never feels complete without gratitude by its side. When I give, I thank the people who accept my time or my services or material items. I don’t thank them in order to get something back, but simply because it’s a gift to be accepted, and I appreciate that. I wish more people would remember that and show gratitude for the small things in life, like the mailman, for example. Rain, sleet, or snow, your mailman is there, bringing you your bills, Netflix movies, and gossip rags. How often do you thank them? Hmm…perhaps a note in the mailbox would work.

Sometimes people ask me when enough is enough. Have you ever gone overboard with giving? Strange question, I know, but an important one. We only have so much to give of ourselves—our time, or our energy. Going overboard has nothing to do with how much gratitude you receive in return for your generosity; it has to do with running out of fuel. I think you know you’ve gone overboard if you have no energy left for yourself.

I’ve written about our emotional buckets before, and the importance of rejuvenation of the emotional energy we expend, but I don’t think I’ve spoken about graceful ways to say “no”.

We all know that we can run ourselves ragged, and when we do, we can’t help others or ourselves. Below are a few tips for bowing out gracefully:

1. Honesty prevails: Lead with honesty. Friends are more likely to understand and accept if you begin with the truth. Overscheduled? Tired? Feeling used? Begin by telling them that you would love to help, but—then go straight for honesty. Creating false reasons to try and save hurt feelings will only lead to a need to cover your trail. Honesty is valued. Share it.

2. Offer other means of help: If you don’t have time to do something, offer other resources for the person to utilize. Direct them to sources that you trust.

3. Postpone. If a deadline is not critical, it’s okay to postpone, and sometimes it’s the wisest move. Never be in a hurry to give anything 50% effort. It’s also okay to use all three of these strategies, “I’m really overscheduled right now, but I’d love to help you next Friday, and if that doesn’t work, perhaps try Ihelpyoufakewebsite dot com.”

The bottom line is that you need to rejuvenate, and it’s hard to say no to a friend or colleague, but it’s also necessary. Be kind to yourself. Honor your need to regroup. You’ll be able to better serve others if you do.

I’d love to hear your tips for bowing out gracefully.

__________

Thank you for the great post Melissa!  My problem with saying no is that when and if I do I always feel so guilty that I end up feeling worse than had I said yes.  lol.  I’d like to wish you and my readers a Happy Thanksgiving!

__________

 

About Come Back to Me by Melissa Foster

Tess Johnson has it all: her handsome photographer husband Beau, a thriving business, and a newly discovered pregnancy. When Beau accepts an overseas photography assignment, Tess decides to wait to reveal her secret—only she’s never given the chance. Beau’s helicopter crashes in the desert.

Tess struggles with the news of Beau’s death and tries to put her life back together. Alone and dealing with a pregnancy that only reminds her of what she has lost, Tess is adrift in a world of failed plans and fallen expectations. When a new client appears offering more than just a new project, Tess must confront the circumstances of her life head on.

Meanwhile, two Iraqi women who are fleeing honor killings find Beau barely alive in the middle of the desert, his body ravaged by the crash. Suha, a doctor, and Samira, a widow and mother of three young children, nurse him back to health in a makeshift tent. Beau bonds with the women and children, and together, with the help of an underground organization, they continue their dangerous escape.

What happens next is a test of loyalties, strength, and love.

Read an excerpt

Buy Come Back to Me at Amazon.com

 

About Melissa Foster

 

Melissa Foster is the bestselling, award-winning author of three novels, Megan’s Way, Chasing Amanda, and Come Back to Me. She has also been published in Indie Chicks, and anthology. She is the founder of the Women’s Nest, a social and support community for women, and the WoMen’s Literary Cafe, a cross-promotional site for authors, reviewers, bloggers, and readers. Melissa is currently collaborating in the film production of Megan’s Way, and hard at work on her next novel.

Melissa hosts an annual Aspiring Authors contest for children, she’s written for Calgary’s Child Magazine and Women Business Owners Magazine, and has painted and donated several murals to The Hospital for Sick Children in Washington, DC. Melissa lives in Maryland with her family. Melissa’s interests include her family, reading, writing, painting, friends, helping women see the positive side of life, and visiting Cape Cod.

Melissa is available to chat with book clubs and welcomes comments and emails from her readers. Visit Melissa on The Women’s Nest or her personal website.

Melissa’s interests include her family, reading, writing, painting, friends, helping women see the positive side of life, and visiting Cape Cod. A portion of every book sold is donated to Provincetown Cares.

Melissa enjoys discussing her books with book clubs and reader groups, and welcomes an invitation to your event.

Melissa’s website
Melissa’s blog
Find Melissa on Facebook
Follow Melissa on Twitter
Find Melissa on Goodreads

 

GIVEAWAY DETAILS

I have one copy of Come Back to Me by Melissa Foster to share with my readers.  To enter…

  • For 1 entry simply leave me a comment entering the giveaway.
  • For 2 entries, follow my blog.  If you already do, thank you, and please let me know in your comment so that I can pass the extra entry on to you as well.
  • For 3 entries, blog or tweet this giveaway and spread the word.

This giveaway is open to US & Canadian residents only (no PO boxes) and I will draw for the winner on Saturday, December 17/11.  Good luck everyone!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. A good guest post. I find it easier to say no these days than I did even ten years ago. That said, I don’t always say no but I’ve learned to prioritize. Maybe that comes with age,haha.

    No need to enter me in the giveaway – I have the book on my Kindle. Now I need to say no to a few things so I have time to read it 😉

  2. The older I get, the easier it is to say no. 🙂
    I can’t wait to see the end of the story for Tess and Beau.

    lag110 at mchsi dot com

  5. I would like to think I get not just older but wiser as well. I’m still human but one capable of learning from my mistakes and making better decisions. Thank you for the giveaway.

  8. The plot of this book sounds intriguing with both going through things that will keep them apart.

    Thanks for sharing.

  9. I always had trouble saying no because of the looks that I got it made me feel really bad. Now that I am 65, “no” comes out much easier!

    I would love to read this book. I cried through most of ‘Megan’s Way’ as it was so emotional. I want to read everything that she has written,

    CarolNWong(at)aol(dot)com

  22. This sounds like a very interesting book. i would love to find out what happens in the ending. But I guess I have to wait to find out. Hope I win.

    amhengst at verizon dot net

  26. I also have a hard time saying no, and will often offer things like my time and resources without thinking, and then feel overwhelmed. It’s not so bad when I am doing things for people who are grateful to be taken care of, but it’s those people who use you again and again or take advantage that you have to be wary of. This year I am cutting some people out of my life who seem to take and take without giving, and making more room in my life for the people who are grateful and need more specialized attention. You would be surprised to find out just how many people will take advantage of you when you are willing to do anything to please them and be generous. Very interesting and eye-opening post today!

  27. Yes, that old saying yes when you really mean, oh no…that’s a big problem for me 🙂

    I like her idea of “leading” with honesty…the few times I actually did that, I found that I got a totally understanding reaction!